InfINitE pATheTic...

I hv been away fr hm for n months. Fr familiarity to unfamiliarity; fr driver to passenger; fr control to be controlled...*so pathetic*...

Before tis, I always tot tis is wat life is supposed to b - new job, new environment, new experience, new everything..

But now, I really can't stop wondering "IS TIS WAT I WAN?" 'CAN I REALLY SURVIVE HERE?". I m not an ambitious person, i dun set high targets to achieve, i dun even know wat's the aim of my life...*pathetic again*...

I really ever tot everything MIGHT be fine, new place new beginning and i can cope well...but maybe i luk up on myself too much, i fail..pathetically...din perform in job & creating crisis in my relationship, non-stop crisis...

All these days, i m drowned by my xtremely low esteem...i lost my direction, lost my confidence, lost myself... *GOSH! wat's more pathetic than to lost urself??!*

Well, luckily, due to the nature of my job, i get to travel, n hv a chance to BREATHE, forgetting all those 5-Ws n to concentrate on my job... And also, well...i actually keep finding xcuse to RUNAWAY n i hv been visiting home, hiding, twice out of the 7 months journey out here...*OMG! isnt it the most pathetic thing that could hv happened? to find XCUSE TO GO HOME?!!*

It seems like, i choose my own path, n nw i m in doubt.....*:(, another pathetic*....